Serenity from Houston wants to support her best friend — but the costs are starting to spiral out of control. She called into The Ramsey Show and asked the hosts for some advice.
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She revealed she is committed to attending her friend’s bachelorette party, which will take place over a three-day weekend. However, she admitted she’s starting to get uncomfortable about the unexpectedly high costs attached to the event.
“.. it’s outside of my budget, and I don’t know how to tell her that,” Serenity said. She also mentioned that the bride is an engineer making six figures a year.
Ramsey co-hosts, Jade Warshaw and Ken Coleman, have different opinions on how Serenity could handle this delicate — but common — situation.
Spiraling out of control
Although Serenity is excited to support her friend, she is apprehensive about the costs.
Since she’s already paid $700 for flights and the hotel stay, and both are nonrefundable, she’s not planning on bailing altogether. But as the event gets closer, details about the weekend’s activities are coming out. And it’s clear that the weekend could get very expensive quickly.
“Every activity is at least $150,” said Serenity.
In total, she had planned for $400 in spending money for the three-day weekend. But, with the latest details, she expects all of the activities to add up to about $650.
Warshaw jumped in with, “I do feel like it can be a little tone-deaf to have these big bachelorette trips. You’re already in the wedding, you already have to get a dress or a tuxedo, and then don’t let it be a destination wedding.”
At this point, Coleman pointed out that Serenity isn’t actually in the wedding party, and he began to try offering some practical suggestions. He acknowledged that Warshaw is "upset" that Serenity is even going on the trip.
“I’m trying to help her with her reality,” he said, and proceeded to suggest Serenity pick and choose what activities she attends based on her budget. Since she has $400 to spend on the weekend, she’d only need to skip out on one or two activities to make the trip work for her budget.
Coleman suggested politely finding an excuse for the other activities. For example, she might claim to have a headache to skip out on one of the pre-scheduled events.
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Alternatively, she could decide to share with her friend that the itinerary doesn’t fit her budget, so she’ll have to skip out on a few things. “I don’t think it’s too late to not go,” said Warshaw, before Serenity clarified that she cannot get any money already spent refunded.
“I say go and you budget the $400,” said Coleman. “You got $400 … so, you can have $400 worth of fun.”
How to navigate expensive wedding festivities
For many, bachelor and bachelorette parties have gone from a night on the town to a full-blown weekend away. As the expectations rise for these events, so do the costs.
According to a study from The Knot, 37% of attendees of bachelor and bachelorette parties spend more than $1,000 on the event. And, on average, 64% of attendees spend more than $400 on each of these events.
If you get invited to a bachelor/bachelorette bash or trip, saying yes to the costs can devastate your budget and endanger your financial future. And, this is before the actual wedding weekend, with all of those expected costs.
When trying to navigate the event on a budget, the key is to think about your budget and how much you can afford to spend before you commit to everything. It’s tempting to say yes to everything. But getting the details of the itinerary, location, and lodging can help you make an informed decision.
Beyond the baseline costs, like the hotel and potential flights, consider the hidden costs, like a rental car, ridesharing fares, meals, tips, and matching outfits.
Once you have more details, you have an opportunity to start saving up for the big weekend. If you have room in your budget, you can set aside those savings. If not, you might have to make room.
Cutting back on discretionary purchases or picking a side hustle could help you find the money to cover the fun weekend without going into debt.
Another way to make it work might be to only attend some of the weekend’s activities. For example, you might claim you have a headache before an expensive activity you don’t truly want to attend or you might pick an early flight out, which gives you an easy way to say no to an expensive brunch.
Or simply let the host know that you won’t be able to attend certain activities since you’re trying to get your finances in order.
If you really cannot find a way to make it work, consider respectfully declining the invitation. You might claim you had something else scheduled or be honest about the fact that you simply can’t afford it.
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This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
