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After 10 years of marriage, it can be hard to find new ways to surprise your spouse.
But as some couples would tell you, that might not be such a bad thing. Especially when the well-kept secret has to do with money.
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For one wife, it took a decade of marriage before her husband came clean: he’s dug himself into a hole of $50,000 in credit card debt and he doesn’t know how to get out. Now, in addition to dealing with how this may impact their relationship, the wife is wondering — rather, stressing — about the legal and financial implications for her personally.
What does it really mean when someone married for, say, 10 years wasn’t aware of their husband owing over $50,000 to creditors?
With the average American credit card debt hovering around around $7,321 in the first quarter of 2025, this predicament is, unfortunately, more common than it might seem.
How do we tackle this?
While many couples take a “what’s mine is yours, and vice versa” approach to finances, that’s a choice they make together. And so much depends on your husband’s attitude here. If he’s contrite and this is your first issue in 10 years, you might handle this very differently than if he’s been known to hide things from you.
Your husband is certainly not alone in this debt trap. Americans have an absolute mountain of credit card debt — $1.182 trillion, to be exact.
You may decide to take on the debt as a couple. In which case, keep in mind that credit card debt is among the country’s most expensive forms of debt. Over the last 10 years, average interest rates on credit cards have almost doubled from 12.9% in late 2013 to around 24.33% — the highest level recorded since the Federal Reserve began collecting this data in 1994.
For most people, avoiding debt — especially the expensive type — is their biggest challenge. The first step? Pay off high-interest debt as soon as possible.
If you have significant equity in your home, consider using a HELOC (Home Equity Line of Credit) to consolidate debt, reduce interest rates, and speed up repayment.
A HELOC is a secured line of credit that leverages your home as collateral. Depending on the value of your home and the remaining balance on your mortgage, you may be able to borrow funds at a lower interest rate from a lender as a form of revolving credit.
Rather than juggling multiple bills with varying due dates and interest rates, you can consolidate them into one easy-to-manage payment. The results? Less stress, generally reduced fees, and the potential for significant savings over time.
LendingTree’s marketplace connects you with top lenders offering competitive HELOC rates. Instead of going through the hassle of shopping for loans at individual banks or credit unions, LendingTree lets you compare multiple offers in one place.
If you don’t have much equity in your home, you could still explore consolidating all your debts into a personal loan with a much lower interest rate through platforms like Credible. This can help you pay off debt faster, with just one predictable monthly payment instead of struggling with several.
Through Credible’s online marketplace, the process of finding the right loan becomes much simpler. Credible lets you comparison-shop for the lowest interest rates with just a few clicks.
In less than three minutes, you’ll see all the lenders willing to help pay off your high-interest credit cards with a single personal loan.
Your husband might also consider credit counseling. A reputable counselor can help create a debt repayment plan and provide free financial education resources on managing your money.
Ultimately, you’ll probably need to have a few frank conversations to get back on the same page when it comes to spending. Dave Ramsey reminds us that "debt isn’t a math problem; it’s a behavior problem.”
Read more: Want an extra $1,300,000 when you retire? Dave Ramsey says this 7-step plan ‘works every single time’ to kill debt, get rich in America — and that ‘anyone’ can do it
What are my rights and responsibilities?
But maybe things aren’t so straightforward or simple. If you’re worried your husband is drowning in debt and might try to take you down with him, you’ll want to find out how your state handles financial responsibilities differently when it comes to marriage. Divorce or the death of a spouse can impact this, too.
Most states follow common law, where each spouse is responsible only for debts in their own name. You’re generally not liable for your spouse’s credit card debt unless you co-signed or share the account. Still, creditors can sometimes go after jointly owned assets, like a home or bank account.
Nine states — Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin — use community property laws. In these states, most debts and assets acquired during the marriage are considered shared, even if only one spouse incurred them. That means you could be responsible for debts your spouse took on during the marriage.
Since financial responsibilities in marriage can be complex and vary by state, it’s a smart move to talk with a financial advisor.
A trusted, pre-screened financial advisor can help you understand your exposure, protect your assets, and plan a path forward.
Finding the right advisor for your needs is simple with Advisor.com. Their platform connects you with experienced, qualified financial professionals in your area who offer personalized guidance and support in managing market fluctuations and optimizing your portfolio mix.
According to a Bank of America study, over 90% of the country’s richest individuals work with a financial advisor. Wealthy people know that having money is not the same as being good with money.
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This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
