When people enter a marriage with differing levels of assets, it’s not uncommon to consider signing a prenuptial agreement addressing how their assets will be handled if their marriage fails.
That’s why Hailey, a single mom with a five-year-old, called into The Ramsey Show from California.
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The 37-year-old has a net worth of $50,000. Meanwhile, her boyfriend of three years has a $2-million trust fund. Now they’re talking about marriage. (1)
While his net worth is multiple times her own, her employment income is higher. She makes $140,000 a year. Her 43-year-old boyfriend owns a bike shop that’s been unprofitable for 10 years.
“So it’s a hobby,” Ramsey commented.
“Yes,” Hailey said, explaining that her boyfriend lives off his trust-fund dividends.
She’s worried about what will happen if they share bank accounts and roll those accounts into the prenup agreement.
Ramsey said a prenup isn’t necessarily going to fix what he sees as a bigger red flag: her boyfriend’s lack of motivation to earn money.
"That’s not a good indicator of his character," said Ramsey.
Prenups only go so far, he explained. Here’s how they work.
Prenups only go so far
The principle behind the prenup, Ramsey said, is “we leave with at least what we came in with,” noting that such an agreement does not determine how a couple manages money or grows their wealth during their marriage.
If Hailey and her boyfriend married, his trust fund dividend income would count as household income. However, if they were to get divorced, the boyfriend would keep the trust fund, since he had those assets prior to the marriage.
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With so many marriages ending in divorce — 1.8 million in 2023 alone, according to Pew Research (2) — Hailey is not the only millennial to be considering a prenup.
In fact, a late 2023 Harris Poll survey conducted for Axios found that 47% of engaged or married millennials had a prenup compared to 41% of Gen Zers. (3)
But as she talked to Ramsey, Hailey revealed a bigger concern: How to build wealth with someone who already has wealth and doesn’t seem motivated to build more.
That, Ramsey agreed, is the key issue.
"A guy that doesn’t work for a profit and isn’t productive scares me," he said.
Talk about money before you get married
A 2023 Bread Financial survey found that 64% of couples are financially incompatible, and money issues are widely regarded as one of the main triggers of divorce. (4)
Prior to getting married, it’s important to be open with your partner about your financial situation and goals, and vice versa.
Each of you should disclose what assets you have, what income you earn, what debts you have and what your financial objectives look like.
You should also be open about your spending tendencies. If one of you is a saver and the other is a spender, that’s something to reconcile before combining finances.
And speaking of combining finances, that may or may not be a good idea, depending on your habits and goals, so that’s something to discuss as well.
You may decide to keep your finances separate. Or you may opt to combine some money into a joint account for household expenses but retain certain assets in your own names.
Whether you’re entering a marriage with different levels of wealth or not, it’s also important to discuss a prenup and whether it’s right for you.
It doesn’t mean that you don’t trust each other or that your marriage is doomed to fail. It simply means that you want some basic protection in the event of a divorce with regard to the assets you had prior to getting married.
The more openly and thoroughly you talk about finances before getting married, the less conflict you might have. Having those discussions could also help you enter into a marriage with more confidence and peace of mind.
Article sources
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines. The Ramsey Show (1); Pew Research (2); Axios (3); Bread Financial (4)
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This article originally appeared on Moneywise.com under the title: California mom mulling marrying boyfriend with $2M trust fund wants prenup advice — but Dave Ramsey sees a huge red flag
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.