Once upon a time, most Americans got married in their early 20s, right after they finished school or got a job. Now most are closer to 30 or even older before they exchange I do’s.
That’s because for the majority of Millennials and Gen Z couples, the “right time” to marry is after they’ve got their money situation on lock. (1)
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In fact, the Institute for Family Studies reports that 91% of young Americans believe it’s better to be financially independent before marriage. And 75% agree that waiting to wed means they have more time to get their finances in order. (2)
They may be onto something as they prioritize healthy finances on the way to a healthy marriage.
Why “too soon” can backfire financially
Getting married without a solid financial foundation — and transparency about your circumstances — can expose couples to some relationship-wrecking pitfalls.
Read more: How much cash do you plan to keep on hand after you retire? Here are 3 of the biggest reasons you’ll need a substantial stash of savings in retirement
Carrying over debt or bad credit
Young adults often have student-loan debt or credit-card balances. If those aren’t paid off before marriage, they may become a shared burden or even a source of friction as it impacts major life moves like buying a home, getting a car loan or building shared investments.
According to Western & Southern Financial Group, more than 25% of married Americans waited until after marriage to discuss debt; 21% admit they’ve never had that talk. (3)
Stunted personal growth
Marrying early may take time and energy away from self-improvement, whether that’s education, mobility for better jobs or developing independent investing habits.
Research from the University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project reveals that those who wait to wed are usually more emotionally and mentally mature, have their careers on track and have a clearer idea of what they really want. (4)
Misalignment in money values
Even couples who love each other and see eye-to-eye on most things can have very different perspectives on money — saving vs. spending, risk tolerance, emergency buffers, investments or retirement goals.
Costly divorce
According to Psychology Today, financial issues are one of the biggest reasons for divorce. (5)
Of course, divorce itself is a money issue. For younger or lower-asset couples, it can be financially devastating — involving legal fees, division of assets, alimony/child support, and possible credit damage.
For lower-income couples, it’s worse because there is less safety net, lower liquidity, and more vulnerability to job loss or medical expenses.
For higher-income individuals, having savings, investments, diversified income and better access to credit can buffer that stress. They may feel safer marrying earlier if they already have a strong financial footing.
What young couples can do
Want to be as prepared as possible before saying “I do”? Here’s a practical checklist of financial habits and things to consider before making the legal (and emotional) leap:
Build an emergency fund. Aim for at least three to six months of personal expenses. This gives you breathing room in case you lose your job, have a major renovation, or a health-care emergency, so the financial burden doesn’t land on your spouse.
Deal with debt. Prioritize paying down high-interest debt before marriage, like credit cards or personal loans. Make sure you and your partner agree on a joint debt-management plan with full transparency.
Develop independent investing/retirement habits. Having your own 401(k), Roth IRA or taxable investment account shows discipline and ensures you bring something into the partnership rather than starting from zero.
Educate yourselves. Read together, take a class, work on a mini budget as a couple, compare credit scores and talk through your goals for budgeting and joint accounts.
Agree on core financial values. Make sure to talk about each of your approaches to risk, discretionary spending, big purchases, and how much income to put towards saving, giving and leisure. The earlier you have alignment, the fewer surprises after marriage.
Maintain individual income sources. Encourage side gigs, career mobility, personal branding and continuous education so each person can have some financial autonomy to avoid financial imbalance in the partnership.
Get professional help. A financial planner or couples therapist who specializes in money can help bring up any blind spots before you seal the deal.
Love, timing, and financial maturity are not mutually exclusive. Marrying “too soon”, without putting enough planning into play, can come with material consequences and not just emotional drama.
It’s not about waiting forever; it’s about building a foundation that gives the relationship a solid footing so you and your partner won’t crack under budget stress.
Article sources
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.
Marriage.com (1); Institute for Family Studies (2); Western & Southern Financial Group (3); The National Marriage Project (4); Psychology Today (5)
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