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When you enter into a marriage, you expect your spouse to be faithful. But sometimes, a different type of infidelity — financial — can rear its ugly head.
That’s what happened to Cathy from Dallas, Texas, who recently called into The Ramsey Show seeking urgent financial advice.
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Cathy revealed to co-hosts Ken Coleman and Jade Warshaw that she suspects her to-be ex-husband has racked up close to $1 million in debt behind her back — and she’s probably on the hook for half of it.
Here is what Coleman and Warshaw had to say.
What happens when financial infidelity rears its ugly head?
Money can be a huge driver of marital strife, especially when one spouse keeps secrets.
A 2021 survey by the National Endowment for Financial Education found that 43% of people with combined finances in a relationship have committed financial infidelity.
For 39%, that meant hiding a purchase or bank statement from their partner. For 19%, it meant hiding cash. And for 16% of couples, financial infidelity ultimately led to divorce.
Cathy, meanwhile, learned that her husband hadn’t paid income taxes for three-years and owed $80,000 in credit card debt. The kicker? Cathy and her soon-to-be ex have a $550,000 mortgage for an office building that she co-signed on.
Read more: Want an extra $1,300,000 when you retire? Dave Ramsey says this 7-step plan ‘works every single time’ to kill debt, get rich in America — and that ‘anyone’ can do it
Even worse, Cathy doesn’t have a record of how that money was spent.
"I feel like an idiot," Cathy said.
Coleman thinks Cathy owes at least $250,000.
How to dig yourself out of debt after financial infidelity and plan for the future
If, like Cathy, you’re struggling with substantial debt, there are a few things you can do. One option is tapping into your home’s equity through a Home Equity Line of Credit (HELOC), especially if you’ve made consistent mortgage payments.
A HELOC is a secured line of credit that leverages your home as collateral. Depending on the value of your home and the remaining balance on your mortgage, you may be able to borrow funds at a lower interest rate from a lender as a form of revolving credit.
Rather than juggling multiple bills with varying due dates and interest rates, you can consolidate them into one easy-to-manage payment. The results? Less stress, generally reduced fees, and the potential for significant savings over time.
LendingTree’s marketplace connects you with top lenders offering competitive HELOC rates. Instead of going through the hassle of shopping for loans at individual banks or credit unions, LendingTree lets you compare multiple offers in one place. This helps you find the best HELOC for your situation.
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Being equal partners on all things finance-related could help avoid not just a situation like Cathy’s, but marital conflict more broadly.
In a 2024 Fidelity survey, more than 25% of partners resented being left out of financial decisions. Be vocal and set the guardrails early on for what you expect of your partner when it comes to financial decisions.
Setting a realistic budget and tracking where your money is going can help you avoid falling into financial traps — including noticing missing money due to financial infidelity.
Whether you plan to merge your finances with your spouse or keep your money separate, using money management platforms like YNAB can help you remain in control.
Once you link your bank accounts, you can see a snapshot of your expenses and savings — all in one place. Their subscription sharing service allows you to share your budget with your loved ones. You can create a household budget with your spouse, helping you set financial goals and track your family’s expenses in one place.
YNAB’s easy-to-use platform allows you to work towards any financial goals — whether it’s buying a house or paying down debt — by assigning every dollar a job.
You don’t need to add your credit card information to start your free trial today.
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This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
