It’s a familiar tension for couples preparing to marry. One partner wants to consider a prenuptial agreement, the other pushes back, arguing it’s unromantic to plan for divorce before you’re even married and there’s nothing to protect anyway. After all, if there are no houses, investments or savings to divide, why complicate things and kill the mood with legal paperwork?
The answer is that a prenup is about more than current wealth. It’s about protecting both people from risks that already exist, and ones that may surface later.
What a prenup actually does
A prenuptial agreement, or prenup, is a legal contract signed before marriage that sets out how finances will be managed if the relationship ends. It can address property division, business ownership, spousal support and, crucially, responsibility for debts.
Without one, couples default to provincial or territorial family law, which may not reflect what either partner thinks is fair. A prenup allows a couple to agree in advance on terms that suit their specific situation.
Erin’s story: marrying into debt
A recent story from Money.ca illustrates why prenups can matter even when couples don’t share many assets just yet. Erin, who was approaching her wedding day, learned her fiancé was carrying $180,000 in student loans and credit card debt.
“Even if Erin isn’t responsible for her fiancé’s debt prior to their marriage, it would still have a major impact on her life,” the article notes.
Licensed insolvency trustee J. Douglas Hoyes explains how tangled finances can become.
“What we typically see in a marriage is a mix of debts: yours, mine and ours; your existing and new debt, my existing and new debt, and joint debt accumulated since we married," he told Money.ca, adding that financial institutions have wide latitude once accounts are shared.
“Banks have a right of offset, meaning they can withdraw money from your account to pay debts owed to them," he said.
Erin’s situation shows that even if one partner starts with no assets, the other’s liabilities can shape their shared financial future. A prenup can draw a clear line around who is responsible for what.
Where’s the romance in that?
It’s common for couples to feel that talking about a prenup isn’t romantic, or that planning for financial contingencies is a vote of no confidence in the relationship. But in reality, a prenup can be one of the most thoughtful acts of love a couple can take. It isn’t about predicting divorce, as many couples may feel. It’s about setting both people up for peace of mind and reducing stress down the road.
Think of it like insurance: You hope you’ll never need it, but it protects both partners if life takes an unexpected turn.
Approaching a prenup as a way to protect your shared dreams and individual well-being can actually strengthen trust. You’re saying: “I care about us and our future enough to plan responsibly.” Couples who view it this way often report that the conversation, while serious, brought them closer because it emphasized fairness, honesty and shared responsibility.
Why “we don’t have assets yet” misses the point
There are many reasons to consider a prenup beyond dividing existing wealth:
- Debt: As Erin’s case shows, one partner’s loans or credit cards can affect both
- Future assets: Inheritances (which are typically excluded from communal property upon divorce — but not always!), business growth or property purchases can be planned for in advance
- Unequal contributions: If one partner earns more or stays home to raise children, a prenup can outline fair arrangements
- Family obligations: Couples with children from previous relationships may want to ensure their interests are protected
A prenup is not about predicting divorce. It’s about creating financial clarity while ensuring that both partners are on the same team.
How to approach the conversation
Bringing up a prenup can feel daunting, but framing it as a discussion about fairness and shared protection can make it far less intimidating. It doesn’t need to be a contentious conversation, but, if your partner isn’t on the same page, your approach to the conversation can make or break how it goes.
So, begin with grace. Start by explaining how it might be uncomfortable to discuss, but you think it shows that you’re a team working together towards a common goal of comfort and support.
Transparency is vital to this process. It is critical to openly share your full financial picture, including debts, income and any plans for future assets. Talk honestly about expectations for joint versus separate accounts and how you envision contributions to household expenses and savings.
Couples often find it helpful to consult independent lawyers to ensure both sides feel heard and protected, and to create an agreement that’s fair and legally sound.
Finally, recognize that a prenup isn’t set in stone — circumstances change, and revisiting the agreement as life evolves can reinforce a sense of partnership rather than suspicion. This crucial step will help allay the hesitant partner’s feelings of being backed into a corner and not being able to move or retreat.
Remember, you are doing this together, for each other, because you love and trust each other to have your best interests at heart, always. The prenup is further proof of exactly that.
Protect yourself and your partner
The idea that prenups are only for the wealthy is outdated. Erin’s experience shows how debt can reshape a marriage before it even begins, and why having clear legal protections matters.
A prenup is not a sign of mistrust. It’s a sign of foresight and a way to ensure both partners are protected — it will also prevent financial surprises from straining the relationship. For couples weighing the question “Do we need one if we don’t have assets yet?” the answer is often yes, because what’s really at stake isn’t what you have now, but what you may face in the years ahead.
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.