Noelle, 25, from Oregon reached out to The Ramsey Show seeking financial advice regarding her live-in boyfriend who lost his job three months prior and doesn’t seem to have many prospects. (1)
She makes nearly $90,000 a year in digital marketing and is working on her MBA. When they moved in together, he was earning a salary similar to his. Now, without income for months, he’s fallen behind on his financial obligations.
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“When we decided to start living together, he said that he will cover the rent, which is about $1,300 a month, and I would pay for groceries and our utilities,” she explained in a clip posted Oct. 12. Lately, however, she’s had to foot the bill for rent.
The Ramsey Show co-hosts George Kamel and Ken Coleman didn’t mince words. While they acknowledge that a job loss can be emotionally devastating, they also emphasized that being unemployed for three months while living off your partner is a serious relationship concern.
“This oughta scare the crap out of you,” Coleman said.
Why this matters
Many adults move in together both to be closer and to share expenses, which can complicate matters if a partner becomes financially inactive. In the midst of a softening job market, the pressure is immense.
Yet, Noelle revealed her boyfriend isn’t considering a lower-paying job or even multiple part-time jobs, and she’s concerned he’s being “too picky” given the current environment.
“This young man, for his own mental and emotional health, needs to be doing something,” Coleman said. “I get the temptation to go, ‘I don’t want to go backwards,’ but this should concern you.”
Kamel added: “Because he has you to float him, I think that’s creating a sense of comfort and complacency.”
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Putting on a fatherly tone, Coleman urged her to reflect on her self-worth.
“You deserve a guy who says, whether you’re living with him or not, who’s like, ‘Man, Noelle’s worth this. I’m not going to sit around and play video games and let her pay the rent while I’m eating ramen noodles,’” he said.
Practical steps she can take
Here are some actionable moves Noelle might want to consider regarding her boyfriend:
Redefine the financial structure: Ask him to contribute through a part-time job or temporary work, even if it’s below his former salary. Re-work who contributes how much toward each expense, at least temporarily.
Set a timeline: If he’s unwilling to contribute, even below his former income, she can set a deadline to end their current living arrangement. Beware, in case this involves breaking a lease.
Protect your savings and credit: Make sure bills are in your name or designated clearly and don’t let your partner’s inactivity damage your credit profile.
Can there still be a happy medium?
If he takes meaningful steps, Noelle’s relationship with her boyfriend can move forward.
Otherwise, a passive response, such as waiting for a perfect job or refusing more minor roles, could be a pitfall.
In Noelle’s case, she must decide whether they’re building a future together or in an arrangement that ends up costing more than she bargained for.
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