When Derek, 36, called into The Ramsey Show, he wasn’t just looking for financial advice, but for peace of mind as well.
Recently engaged and preparing to blend a family of five children, all aged between 10 to 12, Derek also brings something else into the marriage: $12 million in assets.
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His fiancee has about $50,000, plus some debt. That financial gap has led them into difficult conversations about whether a prenuptial agreement is the right choice.
“We started the process of looking into a prenup and it’s been an emotional one,” Derek admitted in a clip posted June 18. “And I totally understand why.”
A sticking point
Although the couple initially worked through a questionnaire together, his fiancee’s attitude shifted once the first draft of the agreement came back from Derek’s lawyer.
"She feels like I wouldn’t be fully entering the marriage in the same way that she is because it feels like I’m holding assets separately, off to the side,” Derek explained.
Cohosts Rachel Cruze and Jade Warshaw acknowledged the complexity of the situation — one that includes a significant wealth imbalance and a sensitive family dynamic.
“It’s a very tough way to start out a marriage,” Warshaw said. “Because we’re dividing ‘yours’ versus ‘mine,’ and everything else in the marriage is ‘ours.’”
Derek says any income the couple earns after marriage would be shared, and the plan is for his fiancee to leave her job to manage the household full time. Derek also said he would pay off her small remaining debt after the wedding. They’ve also discussed buying a home together with Derek’s money but titled in both their names and treated communally.
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However, the prenup, as it’s written, also states that any growth from Derek’s $12 million would remain solely his.
That point, Warshaw noted, is something she’d ponder if entering into such a marriage
“How can we protect what you’ve already created, but how can I be a player in how that grows from here on out [and] be a part of that?” she wondered aloud.
Cruze offered a way to frame the situation: “We are living our lives together as one, but if something ever happened in a divorce, this part still goes back to me.”
Derek agreed, acknowledging that the only time the wealth would not also be hers is if they legally go through a divorce, and confirmed it’s how they want to go into the marriage.
When a prenup makes sense — and how it can evolve
Prenuptial agreements are often recommended when there’s a major financial imbalance, one partner has substantial debt or either person owns a business or expects to receive a large inheritance. Prenups are a way of protecting one’s assets in the event a marriage ends — if you get a divorce without one, they may be at the mercy of state laws.
In Derek’s case, Warshaw floated the idea of a “progressive” agreement — one with clauses that loosen restrictions over time.
While Derek’s current agreement doesn’t include a sunset clause, that kind of flexibility can be introduced later through a postnuptial agreement, which allows couples to revise terms after marriage. Some prenups even allow for amendments or revocations, as long as both parties agree in writing.
Prenups have become more common. A 2023 survey commissioned by Axios found that 1-in-5 married U.S. couples had signed a prenup, while half of adult respondents stated they at least somewhat supported the use of prenups.
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This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
