Rebecca from Texas is in a moral conundrum after her boyfriend of two years said he was ready to take the next step in their relationship, dropped $1 million in cash on a ranch and put her name on the deed. They even had a wedding venue picked out.
Then, three weeks after they moved in, he left — for good. They only spoke once and he told her it was over.
“I’m left to manage the whole 20 acres on my own, and six animals,” she told The Ramsey Show (1).
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While it sounds like some sort of scam, he paid for the property in full and put her name on the deed, meaning legally she’s entitled to half of it.
“I’m trying to figure out what my goal should be in this situation,” Rebecca said. Should she list the property? Should she buy him out?
It’s his house, but “I’m on the deed, so technically I am 50% owner,” she said.
“You’re sitting there on a half-a-million dollar windfall because this guy’s loopy,” Dave Ramsey said.
“Yet, if I’m in your shoes, I don’t feel entitled to $500,000 of his money.”
Here’s why that’s Ramsey’s take of things.
Legal conundrums
Often, couples have the opposite problem: one partner takes off, leaving the other saddled with mortgage payments. But if both parties hold title, one can’t sell the house without the other’s permission.
Here’s how it works: If you aren’t married, one person could hold title as the sole owner. Or, both parties could hold title as either joint tenants or tenants in common (2). In this case, Rebecca should clarify whether it’s just her, or her and her ex on the deed. Joint tenancy means you own equal shares (50/50), while tenants in common use an unequal split, such as 60/40.
Sometimes, ownership is adjusted using an unequal split if one person has contributed more than the other (such as making the down payment or paying more of the mortgage).
Sometimes, only one person is named on the deed for tax purposes (or to avoid creditors), but that means they have legal authority to sell the house, even if the other person contributed financially.
If you have joint tenancy, it’s also a good idea to have a co-ownership agreement, which outlines each person’s rights and responsibilities, as well as an ‘exit plan’ if the partnership doesn’t work out.
If you’re not married and don’t have a co-ownership agreement, you still have a couple of options.
“You can either follow the legal procedures that apply in your state — typically this means the court will order the property to be sold, and the net proceeds (after paying mortgages, liens, and costs of sale) to be divided — or you can reach your own compromise settlement,” according to Nolo, a legal information site (3).
If you can’t reach your own settlement, there are legal ways to force the division or sale of jointly owned property. This isn’t just used for romantic partners; it could also be used by any co-owners, including friends, siblings or other family members.
In Rebecca’s case, the situation is rather unusual because her partner took off after fully paying for the house and insisting she put her name on the deed.
Having both names on the deed typically creates a legal presumption that you’re equal owners (3). That means, working with a lawyer, she could likely get half of his assets and there’s “nothing this twerk can do about it,” Ramsey said.
“But the question is, what do you feel right about from a moral perspective?”
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Moral conundrums
Rebecca is brokenhearted, but she also uprooted her entire life — quitting a job that paid $100,000 a year and renting out her home. She can’t move back until her tenants’ lease is up.
While her situation is unique, buying a home with someone prior to marriage (or skipping marriage altogether) isn’t unique these days.
While married couples made up the majority of home buyers (59%) in 2024, unmarried couples accounted for 9% of the overall market, according to a 2024 report from the National Association of Realtors (4). Younger millennials made up the largest share of unmarried couples, at 19%.
Ultimately, Rebecca has a legal right to a portion of the money, meaning it then becomes a moral question. She’d want to consider working with a real estate attorney or a family lawyer who specializes in cohabitation.
“So, your point is you’ve been damaged by this fraud, financially, and so it would be ethical to receive something for that,” Ramsey said. The question is, how much is enough?
After quitting her last job, she was unemployed for three months. She’s now found a similar paying job (albeit one she says is less stable).
Ramsey said, in her shoes, he’d want to be made whole financially — tagging him for the $100,000 salary she lost when she gave up her job — plus a little for what Ramsey called a “whiplash penalty.”
“Past that, this is dirty money for me,” he said.
Even if she had the money to buy him out, Ramsey suggests Rebecca get off the ranch. “That’s got bad juju all over it.”
She could have her attorney contact him and offer to sign the deed over to him for an amount that will make her financially whole — whatever number she eventually decides upon — and then rent an apartment until she can move back into her old house.
That number could be determined by tallying up each partner’s total contribution to the house, or, in this case, determining the losses associated with the events and, in this case, a “whiplash penalty” for any money she lost.
For anyone navigating the sale or buyout of a property in a joint tenancy scenario, it’s well worth getting a lawyer involved to navigate any murky waters — legal or not.
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Article sources
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.
The Ramsey Show (1); Nolo.com (2), (3); National Association of Realtors (4)
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
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