Taking out a loan for someone you love might seem like a gesture of trust and commitment — but if the relationship ends, you could be stuck with the debt.
That’s exactly what happened to Lily, a woman from New York who called into The Ramsey Show to speak with hosts Ken Coleman and George Kamel.
Lily took out a $35,000 loan to help her then-boyfriend pay off his credit card debt. The loan, at an 11.49% interest rate, was in her name — because he couldn’t qualify for favorable terms on his own. Now the relationship is over, he’s moved out, and Lily is solely responsible for the debt.
Her ex has been making minimum payments of $951 per month, but that won’t pay down the balance quickly. He recently agreed to increase payments to $2,000 a month and said he’s willing to sign a contract.
The issue? He only earns $1,000 a week — making Lily’s goal of having the loan repaid within a year highly unlikely. She called the Ramsey team looking for ways to pressure him into faster repayment, but that’s not the advice she received.
“Legally, you took on the debts,” Kamel pointed out. “You signed up for this awful ride… you don’t have any recourse.”
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What do they say her legal options are?
Legally, Lily has few options. Because the loan is in her name, she is solely responsible for the debt. While Kamel and Coleman mentioned the possibility of taking her ex to small claims court, New York’s small claims limit is $10,000 — well below the remaining $30,000 balance — and there’s no guarantee the court would rule in her favor.
Instead, the hosts urged Lily to stop hoping her ex would follow through and focus on aggressively paying off the loan herself. With no other debt and a take-home income of $10,000 to $12,000 per month, they said she could eliminate the loan in just six months — especially if she pauses investments. Her monthly expenses are around $4,500, giving her significant room to make progress.
"You’ve got to control the controllables — and that means paying off your debt that’s in your name,” Kamel said, bluntly.
They also suggested she get a roommate to help offset rent costs, which doubled after the breakup.
“You don’t need to be living with someone else at the tail end of a breakup,” Coleman added. “Lick your wounds, get healthy, heal, and get this debt out of your life.”
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Should you ever loan a partner money?
Generally, you should never loan more money than you can afford to lose. As Kamel and Coleman point out, Lily’s ex could block her number tomorrow, and she’d still be on the hook for the full amount.
When you take out a loan, you’re legally responsible for paying it — regardless of who the money was for. In Lily’s case, the bank loaned her $35,000 based on her income and credit — not her ex’s.
If you’re considering loaning a partner money before marriage, ask yourself:
- Is this a one-time emergency or a pattern of poor money management?
- Will lending this money create a power imbalance in the relationship?
- Can I afford to lose this money without derailing my own financial goals?
- Have we clearly documented repayment terms in writing?
The harsh reality is this: You should never take out a loan for a romantic partner. You can support someone emotionally without jeopardizing your financial future.
Even if it seems like a generous gesture or a temporary solution, it can quickly turn into a long-term liability.
In Lily’s case, the best move is to take responsibility, pay off the loan herself, and treat any repayment from her ex as a bonus.
Coleman’s final piece of advice was blunt, but clear. “Don’t ever do something like this again. You’re so smart. You don’t need to take out a loan for some guy. There’s never a scenario where that’s the answer.”
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This article originally appeared on Moneywise.com under the title: This NY woman took a $35K loan for her boyfriend — then they broke up. The Ramsey Show hosts explain who owns the debt
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