As of October, the average rent in the U.S. was about $2,000, according to Zillow. (1) And if you thought being a guest at a wedding couldn’t cost nearly as much as putting a roof over your head each month, you’d be wrong.
In August, an analysis by Zillow showed that attending a wedding, plus a bachelor or bachelorette party ahead of time, cost an average of $2,010. And the price could be higher if you’re part of the wedding party itself.
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Brides magazine puts the average cost of being a bridesmaid in 2025 between $1,500 and $2,500 for a local wedding. (3) That includes the cost of a dress, shoes, hair and makeup, gifts and prewedding events, like a bachelorette party or bridal shower. For a destination wedding, the cost could rise to anywhere from $3,000 to more than $5,000.
Now as a groomsman, you may end up spending a bit less. SoFi puts the average cost of being a groomsman at $1,600. (4) But it also says that being a bridesmaid costs only $1,650 on average, which is a far lower estimate than the number above.
Either way, participating in a wedding can be a big financial undertaking. And it’s important not to ruin your finances in the course of celebrating and supporting a friend’s milestone event.
Wedding costs are burdening couples and guests alike
The Knot puts the average cost of a wedding today at $33,000. (5) That’s only slightly higher than the average wedding cost of $32,641 in 2015. (6)
But back then, The Knot reported that the average cost of a wedding had risen by more than $5,500 over the previous five years. So while wedding costs have been fairly stable in recent years, they’re up significantly from where they were in 2009.
Part of the reason is that in recent years, wedding vendors have raised their prices due to inflation, according to CNBC. (7) And also, with the popularity of social media, there may be more pressure to host a blowout, as opposed to a more modest affair.
Now, it’s worth noting that wages have increased a lot since 2009. Back then, the average wage was $39,054.62, according to the Social Security Administration. In 2023, it was $63,932.64.
That doesn’t mean couples today can easily afford a wedding, though. A recent U.S. News & World Report survey found that 58% of couples planned to take on debt to pay for a wedding. (8) And 84% said paying for a wedding was a source of stress.
It’s not just the people getting married who are facing debt, though. A 2024 Lending Tree survey found that of the 54% of Americans who attended a wedding in the previous five years, 31% racked up debt in order to do so. (9) Also, 74% of those who took on debt to attend a wedding said prewedding events, like bachelor parties or bridal showers, were a contributor.
Along these lines, Zillow found that 45% of Gen Z and millennial wedding guests made a housing-related sacrifice to attend a wedding, like renting or buying a smaller place and living with roommates. (2)
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How to protect your finances if you’re asked to be in a wedding
Being asked to be a part of a wedding might feel like an honor — until you run the numbers and realize it’s beyond what you can comfortably afford. If that’s the situation, one of the best things to do is be honest about what you can and can’t spend to be a part of the big day.
For example, let’s say you create a budget and figure out that if you cut back on spending between now and the big day, you can afford $1,000 in total, that’s the number to communicate to the bride or groom. Explain that it needs to cover all of your expenses, including attire, prewedding events and travel to the wedding, if applicable.
If you decide to be a member of a wedding party, try to take an active role in planning events like bridal showers or bachelor parties so you’re better able to control costs. Loop in your fellow bridesmaids or groomsmen on your financial situation so they understand your limits.
Chances are, you won’t be the only one with financial constraints. You can work with fellow bridesmaids or groomsmen to keep costs down, like hosting a local bachelor/bachelorette party instead of traveling.
If you’ll be attending a destination bachelor/bachelorette party, or a destination wedding, make sure to protect yourself by purchasing travel insurance. That offers you some protection in case something has to be postponed or there’s a snag on your end.
Also, if you’re honest with the bride or groom about your budget, they may tell you that your presence counts as your present. And not having to buy a gift could take some of the pressure off.
Of course, one way to drum up more cash to attend a wedding is to get a side job. Chances are, you’ll have plenty of notice about the wedding, which should give you time to find an extra gig to sock away cash.
But even then, it’s important to set ground rules, since you can only be expected to work so much — especially if you’re also tasked with helping plan a bachelor party or other such logistics.
Finally, do remember that if the cost of being in a wedding is too much to bear, you have the right to bow out. Zillow found that 25% of Gen Zers and millennials said no to at least one wedding invite due to the cost. (2) Lending Tree also found that 34% of guests have declined a wedding invite for financial reasons. (9)
If you don’t have the room in your budget to be in a wedding party but can swing the cost of attending the wedding itself, communicate that. And if going to the wedding is beyond your budget (such as if it requires you to travel far), be honest with the person or couple inviting you.
If you’re being asked to be in a wedding, it’s likely because you’re close to the bride or groom. And if they value that relationship, they likely don’t want you to take on debt to be a part of their big day.
You could always offer to do something else meaningful to help them celebrate, such as help design their wedding website, accompany them shopping for vendors or record yourself giving a heartfelt toast to be played on the day. If you make it clear that you’re eager to be supportive, it will go a long way towards maintaining your relationship even if you end up having to sit the actual wedding out.
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Article sources
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.
Zillow (1), (2); Brides (3); SoFi (4); PR Newswire (5); The Knot (6); CNBC (7); U.S. News & World Report (8); LendingTree (9)
This article originally appeared on Moneywise.com under the title: Saying ‘yes’ to a wedding now costs as much as a month’s rent — how to say ‘I don’t’ to debt for someone else’s big day
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.