When a Tennessee woman called The Ramsey Show to ask when she and her boyfriend should buy a house, hosts Ken Coleman and George Kamel hit the brakes fast.
The couple lives in her parents’ home, the boyfriend’s truck loan is nearly as big as some mortgages and a baby is arriving in days (1).
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On the surface, the caller wanted insight into timing, affordability, and next steps, but the real story wasn’t about investing in real estate planning for Coleman and Kamel. It was about priorities, maturity and laying down the financial foundation every family needs before taking on a mortgage.
“When you can afford it,” Coleman said. “If you’re not married, you should not be buying a house together.”
A young couple, living with family and bringing a baby into the world, shouldn’t be quick to steer into homeownership. Here’s what Coleman and Kamel suggested instead.
One-income and a $36,000 truck loan
Claire’s boyfriend earns about $3,600 a month as a second-year construction apprentice. His income will grow as he progresses toward journeyman status, but for now they rely on a single paycheque.
He also has a significant debt: a $36,000 truck loan at $770 a month that includes the warranty. It eats up more than 20% of his take-home pay.
“You guys can’t even afford to go rent, let alone buy a house,” Kamel said.
“Exactly,” Coleman added. “Why? They’re living in the basement.”
The hosts zeroed in on the mismatch between their lifestyle and their reality. A large car payment, video game habits and a baby due any day while relying on her parents for housing created a picture of financial imbalance.
Why the hosts say marriage before mortgage
Coleman and Kamel repeated a mantra: “There is no we.”
Because the couple is not married, their finances are legally separate. If they bought a home and later broke up, sorting out ownership could get complicated fast.
Their stance aligns with concerns raised by many financial experts about unmarried buyers. According to MassMutual, unmarried couples face unique risks (2). Only one partner may be on the mortgage and both may be on the deed. If the relationship ends, property rights aren’t automatically protected like they are for married spouses (3). Courts typically treat them like business partners, not a household.
Bankrate warns that while buying as an unmarried couple is becoming more common, it introduces challenges that married couples typically don’t face, such as splitting payments, handling unequal contributions and deciding who stays in the home if things fall apart (4).
For Ramsey’s team, that’s reason enough to pump the brakes.
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The optics and the practicalities
The hosts also pushed back on the boyfriend’s claim that he didn’t want to get married because of what his family would think.
“What about the optics of living with your mom and dad with a baby on the way to someone he’s not married to?” Kamel asked. “I think the optics are out the window.”
“It looks way worse when you’re shacking up with your girlfriend who’s pregnant in her parents’ house,” Coleman said.
Beyond optics, the hosts argued that marriage would add needed stability emotionally, logistically and financially. If the couple tied the knot, combined incomes and leaned on family for child care, they could rent first, build savings and eventually prepare for a down payment.
Protections for married couples
Marriage doesn’t just formalize a relationship. It creates a legal and financial unit. Married couples automatically gain protections around:
- Property ownership and survivorship (5)
- Debt responsibility and division (6)
- Inheritance rights
- Streamlined mortgage qualification (7)
For lenders, two married borrowers with combined income and joint responsibility can simplify underwriting. Unmarried partners often need separate documentation to prove their shared financial obligations (8).
But the biggest risk for unmarried couples is what happens if they break up. If only one name is on the mortgage but both contributed to the down payment or improvements, unravelling who owns what can become legally complex and expensive (9).
Plenty of couples buy homes without marrying, but experts caution that it requires a cohabitation agreement, clear documentation of who pays what and a plan for what happens if the relationship ends (10).
The Ramsey team that routine entirely, favoring the clarity and commitment that marriage provides. Their advice to the caller was direct:
- Sell the truck, even at a loss
- Get married, even before the baby arrives.
- Have both partners work while family helps with child care
- Rent first, build an emergency fund and save for a down payment
- Revisit homeownership later once income stabilizes.
What readers can take away?
Even if you don’t have a baby on the way, the caller’s situation underscores the questions any couple should ask before buying a home:
- What happens legally if we split up?
- Who owns the house and who is responsible for the mortgage?
- Would marriage offer protections we don’t currently have?
- Can we afford housing comfortably on one income if needed?
- Are we using a home purchase to signal stability or should we establish stability first?
Buying a home unmarried isn’t inherently a mistake. But it demands careful planning, legal agreements and complete transparency, which many young couples overlook.
For Ramsey’s team, though, there wasn’t any gray area.
“Let’s go down to the courthouse, and we can party later. ” Kamel said.
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Article sources
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.
The Ramsey Show (1); Mass Mutual (2), Find Law (3, 6, 9); Bankrate (4, 8); Cornell Law (5), Experia (7); Realtor (10)
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.