After moving to Knoxville from Albuquerque for his girlfriend, Christopher is going through a breakup — but still lives with his ex. He called into The Ramsey Show for advice.
He doesn’t want to leave his ex, but revealed he has $19,000 in debt and isn’t making big money in Knoxville. He earns $3,000 a month as a personal trainer at a local gym.
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“What’s your point of staying there?” co-host Jade Warshaw asked him. “Did you go just for the relationship or is there any other reason you’re there?”
“Yeah, pretty much just for the relationship,” Christopher replied. “Her and I are still living together. Trying to work things out, but it’s not super clear on if that’s going to happen, but I’m just trying to do some growth as a man right now.”
Ramsey was surprised and confused about the situation Christopher finds himself in.
Broken up but still living together?
Although the couple has broken up, Christopher feels committed to supporting his ex for a year while she takes a physician’s assistant program, helping around the house and supporting her emotionally.
“Dude, you know how weird that sounds?” asked Ramsey.
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He told Christopher that he did not have to help an ex get through a school program and certainly didn’t need to live with her.
Ramsey tried to get clarity on whether Christopher was done with his relationship.
“You either are together or you’re broken up,” Ramsey said.
“I don’t know how you kind of stand in the middle with one foot on the boat and one on the dock and the boat’s leaving. I think you’re just going to get wet.”
Although Christopher said didn’t want to be done with the relationship, Warshaw and Ramsey advised him to move out and stand on his own for a while — preferably back in Albuquerque.
“I would move out immediately, basically, if you can,” Warshaw advised.
Ramsey said Christopher needs to get his own place and pay his own bills.
“Do the man thing and stand alone and then you’ll like you better,” Ramsey said. “And the next time you go into a relationship you’ll be a different person.”
How to move forward financially after a breakup
Breaking up can be devastating, particularly if you were married or living together. It can also disrupt your finances in a big way.
But taking quick action can help you get your finances back on track after a breakup. Here are some tips.
Separate joint accounts immediately. For shared savings and checking accounts, transfer your share of the funds into an individual account in your name. Tackle this task as soon as possible. Unfortunately, the worst-case situation could involve your ex taking out all of the funds without leaving your share.
Evaluate your shared assets and debts. If married, you may have a pre-nup or state laws that dictate how your assets and debts will be divided. If you weren’t married, splitting shared debts and assets (such as a car and car loan, or a house and mortgage) could require negotiation and even mediation. Consider consulting with a lawyer to ensure parties each get their fair share.
Update the named beneficiary on any accounts — like retirement funds or a life insurance policy — and your will to someone other than your ex. Otherwise, they could inherit your funds after your death.
Map out your own financial goals and create a budget that supports your vision as you untangle your finances from your ex,
For many, a financial fresh start can be daunting. If you aren’t sure which direction to take, consider getting financial advice from a trusted advisor.
You can share your numbers and goals with a competent professional to get guidance on what might work best for your situation.
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This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
