After 17 years of marriage with five children and another one on the way, Holly from Portland, Oregon, feels like she’s reached the end of her rope. She’s ready to bluntly tell her husband what she thinks about his career choices.
“I have to basically tell him, in a loving way, that I really don’t care what his dreams and aspirations are,” the exasperated mother said on The Ramsey Show in a clip posted March 4. “I really just need him to get a better job.”
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Holly’s situation illustrates a harsh reality couples can face when they transition from dual-income to single-income living, while also grappling with the costs of raising multiple children.
Facing an income cliff
Holly says the couple are making a combined income of around $10,000 a month. However, she explains this income is only possible because of their various side hustles. She works roughly 50 hours a week operating a daycare business while he works 30 hours a week as a school bus driver, plus two additional part-time jobs.
But with another baby due soon, Holly says she won’t be able to maintain her daycare business. She would prefer to be a stay-at-home mom, but it’s something she believes the couple can’t afford based on her husband’s income.
“It’s just that I’m scared,” she told co-hosts John Delony and Rachel Cruze. “We’re about to lose half our income.”
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Oregon is the 15th-most expensive state for two working adults to raise a child, according to a 2024 report by SmartAsset. The estimated annual cost, including childcare ($14,000), is $26,334 for one child. It’s easy to see how a household taking care of multiple children might struggle if both parents decide to keep working.
Holly didn’t reveal the ages of her kids, but she made it clear the current situation wasn’t tenable. Despite being happy at his job, she says her husband is simply underpaid, and she faces the uncomfortable challenge of convincing her husband to find better work and earn more income.
Difficult conversation
Talking about money and income can be tricky for most couples. More than a third (34%) of partnered Americans in a 2024 survey commissioned by BMO said money was a source of conflict in their relationship. Nevertheless, getting on the same page and clarifying expectations is essential for a healthy relationship.
With this in mind, Delony encouraged Holly to share her feelings with her husband. Rather than confronting him about his comfort and his dreams regarding work, help him see that the math doesn’t work out and the family is at risk.
Running the numbers on a piece of paper together could give him the reality check he needs to make some changes and boost the household income as rapidly as he can.
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This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
