When Damon from San Jose called into The Ramsey Show, he didn’t ask how to get out of debt — he asked whether he should tell his wife they’re secretly worth millions.
His question of whether he should ever disclose his secret to his wife caught listeners — and hosts Dave Ramsey and Ken Coleman — completely off guard.
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"You have deceived your wife," was Ramsey’s initial reaction.
A breach of trust
Damon, who’s been married for five years, explained that he’s a high-earning minimalist, while his stay-at-home wife is more of a spender.
He works a full-time job, runs a business on the side and handles all the family finances. His wife gets an allowance and has no idea about their true financial standing, which includes $750,000 in annual income and a net worth in the millions. Since they got married, Damon’s income has grown sevenfold.
Ramsey was blunt in his response.
“You’ve been married to her for five years and sleeping with her for five years, but she didn’t know you got any money — that’s deception,” he said.
Damon said he’s afraid of how she’ll react and worries she’ll overspend. But as Ramsey and Coleman pointed out, that kind of secrecy can have serious consequences.
Their advice? Start with accountability and don’t make it about her spending. Coleman suggested he open with something like, "I have a massive fear problem, and because I have a fear problem, I’m a control freak … I’ve got to confess this.”
From there, they said Damon needs to apologize, commit to therapy and work on rebuilding trust by budgeting together.
Read more: Want an extra $1,300,000 when you retire? Dave Ramsey says this 7-step plan ‘works every single time’ to kill debt, get rich in America — and that ‘anyone’ can do it
Financial infidelity vs transparency in relationships
Damon’s situation highlights a growing but often overlooked issue: financial infidelity — when one partner hides money, debt or financial decisions from the other. It can create misaligned goals, poor planning and erode trust.
“You’re the problem, not her, and you need to go work on you,” Ramsey told Damon. “This is a weird thing you’ve done — and you need to own that.”
And Damon’s not alone. According to a survey by the National Endowment for Financial Education, 43% of US adults admit to committing financial deception in a relationship.
How to rebuild trust
Financial transparency, on the other hand, is about openly sharing everything — income, debts, goals and spending habits. It helps build trust, encourages shared decision-making and allows couples to plan for the future together.
Best practices for financial transparency include:
- Full disclosure early. Couples should discuss their income, debts, assets and financial goals openly before or shortly after getting married.
- Joint budgeting. Using budgeting apps or spreadsheets to plan together helps prevent miscommunication.
- Regular financial check-ins. Monthly or quarterly conversations keep both on the same page.
- Shared access. Even if accounts aren’t merged, having mutual visibility builds trust.
- Counseling or coaching. Working with a therapist or advisor can help couples overcome deeper issues.
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This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
