Tyler Perry knows a thing or two about making hard choices. The actor, director, and producer behind the hit “Madea” franchise has carefully built a media empire — one that, according to Forbes, earned him billionaire status (1).
In a recent interview, the 55-year-old entrepreneur admitted that his tough choices haven’t all been about business — he’s even had to stop financially supporting some family members.
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“[My aunt] said she wanted a job. She would always call asking for money. I said, ‘Okay,’ I would send her the money,” Perry explained on an episode of Den of Kings on YouTube (2). “But then I was like, ‘Listen, I want to help you. I want to help you build this thing, not be welfare to you. So, let me give you a job.’”
After his aunt stopped coming to work, he said he had no choice but to fire her — and stop helping her financially. “You want me to hand you the money, but you don’t want to work for it,” he said. “See, that doesn’t work for me.”
Perry’s choice may sound harsh, but it’s a situation many people understand — especially anyone who’s had to draw financial boundaries with family.
Family welfare
You don’t have to be a billionaire for your family to expect some financial assistance from you. In fact, lending or giving money to people in your social network is surprisingly common. According to community finance platform SoLo’s 2025 Cash Poor Report, 43% of people have borrowed money from friends or family members over the past year (3).
Perhaps the most common form of family financial support is from parents to adult children. It turns out that 46% of Gen Z Americans (ages 18 to 27) rely on financial assistance from parents and family, according to new research from Bank of America’s Better Money Habits team (4).
Many of these financial arrangements end badly. A survey by CreditCards.com found that 42% of people who loaned money to their friends and family didn’t get paid back and roughly a quarter of these lenders say the loan damaged their relationship with the borrower.
Keeping this in mind, saying no to personal loans can go a long way in preserving strong, healthy relationships. But if you do feel the need to help a loved one in a tough spot, be sure to set clear expectations — it’ll protect both your finances and your friendship or family bond.
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Setting clear boundaries
Money and family don’t always mix — but setting clear expectations from the start can keep your relationship intact, whether you’re lending or borrowing.
The first step, perhaps, is to never offer more than you can afford. "Ask yourself: Am I really in a position to be gifting money right now?," Wendy De La Rosa, an assistant professor at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania, told NPR (6).
If a loved one is asking for more than you can afford, it’s okay to say no. Be honest and explain how lending or giving that money could hurt your own financial situation.
If you can afford it, it may be better to offer the money as a gift rather than a loan. This minimizes the pressure on the borrower and could help you sustain the relationship.
However, regardless of whether your assistance is in the form of a loan or a gift, formalize the arrangement in a written document. This is because loans and gifts between friends and family can have tax implications.
Gifting more than $19,000 per person per year could make you, not the receiver, subject to the federal gift tax. There are higher limits for married couples and lifetime limits for all individuals that you need to be aware of.
A written document with all the details should help you and the receiver plan for these tax implications and stay on the same page about the arrangement to avoid disagreements in the future.
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Article sources
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.
Forbes (1); Den of Kings (2); USA Today (3); Bank of America (4); CreditCards.com (5); NPR (6)
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.