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Author: Rebecca Holland

  • ‘It’s not that hard’: Dave Ramsey tells New York woman who’s mysteriously stuck in a paycheck-to-paycheck cycle despite $300K household income that she’s letting ‘drama’ dictate her life

    ‘It’s not that hard’: Dave Ramsey tells New York woman who’s mysteriously stuck in a paycheck-to-paycheck cycle despite $300K household income that she’s letting ‘drama’ dictate her life

    A school psychologist named Maria called into The Ramsey Show in July with an unusual problem: Despite having minimal debt and a combined yearly income of nearly $300,000, she and her husband could not seem to stick to their budget.

    Ramsey and co-host Jade Warshaw were visibly frustrated as Maria, who sounded nervous, waffled through the call and struggled to explain why her family couldn’t keep their spending on track.

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    “We have been Ramsey-ish for about two years,” the New Yorker said. “But life keeps getting in the way… It just feels like we cannot get ahead long enough to follow the steps in [Ramsey’s] plan, and it’s causing a lot of financial anxiety.”

    While Ramsey and Warshaw assumed Maria and her husband were bringing home $20,000 per month, the reality is they make $13,600 per month. The difference, Maria said, is due to their retirement investments and insurance deductions.

    Even so, the couple’s debts are relatively small. They owe $17,800 on credit cards, $8,000 on a car loan, and pay $2,700 per month for their mortgage. Maria also shared that the recent deaths of her mother and brother had forced the family to cover the funeral costs of $13,000 and $8,000, respectively.

    “Where do you think the rest of the money is going?” Ramsey asked, but Maria couldn’t account for her family’s monthly spending or explain why the expenses were so overwhelming for their budget.

    Ramsey’s advice

    Ramsey didn’t mince words: “It sounds like you’re circling around the airport and refuse to land.”

    “It’s not an intellectual circus. It’s not that hard,” he added. “You’re living drama to drama, crisis to crisis, and you’re letting that stuff dictate your life rather than you dictating to that stuff.”

    He advised Maria to re-evaluate their retirement contributions, given that her husband’s take-home pay is lower than expected, and to focus on aggressively paying down their debt. He also urged her to track every dollar and take full advantage of the budgeting tools she already has.

    How to keep surprises from wrecking your budget

    Life will always come with unexpected expenses. That’s why having and regularly contributing to an emergency fund is critical. It helps prevent credit card debt or other borrowing from spiraling out of control.

    Ramsey recommends starting with a $1,000 fund if you don’t have one, then building up three to six months’ worth of expenses after you’ve paid off debt.

    If an emergency has already pushed you into debt, remember that you’re still in the driver’s seat. Start by reviewing everything you owe, along with your essential monthly expenses. Once you know what’s left over, set a realistic monthly goal of paying off debt.

    That may mean trimming discretionary spending for a while. But your long-term financial health — and peace of mind — will benefit from a few months of simpler living while you work things out.

    Read more: Want an extra $1,300,000 when you retire? Dave Ramsey says this 7-step plan ‘works every single time’ to kill debt, get rich in America — and that ‘anyone’ can do it

    How to fit your lifestyle to your income

    Rachel Cruze, another co-host on The Ramsey Show, frequently talks about how high earners can still live paycheck to paycheck.

    Cruze says it’s more than just the lifestyle creep, or the idea that spending rises with income. It’s also who you surround yourself with. As you climb income brackets, your social circles may create a new “normal” where higher spending feels expected.

    Cruze acknowledged that inflation is straining many budgets. For those, like Maria, who live in expensive cities, the cost of living has been unsustainable. In such cases, Cruze suggests exploring a job change or moving to a more affordable area to stretch your income further.

    She also warns that “debt steals your income.” Every dollar spent on interest payments is money you can’t put toward savings or goals. If you assume that earning more justifies taking on more debt, Cruze urges you to think again. Pay it off, and you ight be surprised how much breathing room it creates.

    Finally, Ramsey and Warshaw noted that Maria and her husband didn’t appear to be aligned when it came to money. If you’re working to get out of debt as a couple, you need to have regular, honest conversations — not just about a plan, but about each other’s financial values and attitudes.

    Before you bring your concerns to your spouse, it can help to reflect on your own habits and mindset. That way, you’ll be better equipped to have calm, productive discussions that stay focused on shared goals.

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    This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.

  • ‘How cruel and dishonest’: Connecticut brothers speak out after family business fleeced out of $100,000 — here’s the ‘red flag’ that tipped them off and how to avoid this popular scam

    A Connecticut family is sounding the alarm after one of its members fell for a scam that wound up costing the family business $100,000.

    Hosmer Mountain Bottling Co., which sells locally-made sodas throughout Connecticut and Massachusetts, has been operated by the Potvin family since 1958. Business was reportedly good for more than 60 years, but things took a nasty turn in June 2025.

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    As Andrew Potvin explained to WFSB, his brother, Bill, was scammed into sending a company check to a fraudster pretending to represent Publishers Clearing House (PCH). Bill was reportedly told he had won $5,500,000 and PCH needed the check to "verify his employment."

    “The red flag was when the girl that helps me with finances told me there was a check withdrawn for $49,550,” Andrew shared with WFSB. Shortly after, another check for the same amount was withdrawn from the company account.

    At first, Andrew had no idea what these checks were for, until he noticed a note from Bill. “There was a note from my brother saying he had sent a check to verify employment for Publishers Clearing House,” said Andrew.

    This is when the family started to figure out what was happening. And while there appears to be some confusion around exactly how this scam went down, one thing is certain: Bill was taken advantage of, and his age may have played a role in making him a victim.

    “How cruel and dishonest,” said Andrew. “There are people out there that are just cockroaches. Just terrible people, and they take advantage of people that are getting older.”

    ‘The void became Viola Smith’

    Bill, who thought he had just won $5.5M, was told to write “void” on the company check and, once his employment was verified, PCH would send him his prize.

    Bill then sent out the voided check and soon received a massive check for the cash prize he was promised. Meanwhile, the scammer was using a sneaky trick to gain access to Hosmer Mountain Bottling Co.’s bank accounts with the voided check Bill had sent.

    “The void became Viola Smith, and Viola proceeded to cash her check,” said Andrew.

    Bill quickly learned the $5.5M check he received was fake, and that the check he had sent out had essentially given access to the company’s bank accounts to the scammer.

    “I couldn’t believe it,” said Chuck Potvin, another one of Bill’s brothers. “I know Bill is kind of gullible, but to send a company check, a signed company check, is beyond belief.”

    The Potvin family has reportedly met with local police and an investigation has been opened. And while this scam has likely caused tension within the family, WFSB reports the Potvins are able to accept the loss without a major impact to their business.

    Read more: Want an extra $1,300,000 when you retire? Dave Ramsey says this 7-step plan ‘works every single time’ to kill debt, get rich in America — and that ‘anyone’ can do it

    What you need to know about this popular scam

    According to Kristen Johnson of the Better Business Bureau, Bill isn’t the first and likely won’t be the last person targetted with the PCH scam.

    “Since 2018, Publishers Clearing House has been on BBB’s list of top impersonated scams,” Johnson shared with WFSB. “Usually in the top three but last year it landed at number one.”

    The U.S. Postal Inspection Service has issued warnings about scammers pretending to represent PCH, advising anyone contacted by a supposed representative to take extreme caution.

    Those who are told they’ve won a large sum of money and want confirmation are advised to contact PCH’s customer service directly. “Scammers will give you a phone number that comes back to them for ‘verification,’" warns USPIS.

    Moreover, USPIS wants to remind Americans who may win a cash prize from PCH that the company will never ask for more information than your date of birth, name, address and email. Requests for additional informatiion, like confirming employment with a voided check, should be seen as a red flag.

    What to read next

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    This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.

  • I’m 32 and my single mom stressed over money my whole life. But now that I’ve found some success, she says that I ‘owe’ her for all the sacrifices she made — is she right?

    I’m 32 and my single mom stressed over money my whole life. But now that I’ve found some success, she says that I ‘owe’ her for all the sacrifices she made — is she right?

    If your parents were to ask you for money, you may feel conflicted or even guilty, but you’re not alone.

    Take the case of Sam. She grew up in a single-parent household with her mom, who didn’t make a lot of money. Bills were a constant source of stress and watching her mom struggle made Sam determined to find a good career and gain the financial stability that she lacked in childhood.

    Now at 32, Sam feels ready to save for her future, which includes a down payment on a house with her partner and having children. She is in a good place financially, but doesn’t have a lot left in her budget at the end of the month. Her mother has recently demanded that Sam pay her $400 car loan each month, which left her shocked.

    Sam supported herself through college and never asked her mother for money. While she has always appreciated the sacrifices her mother made, she has spent most of her adult life trying to break free from a cycle of poverty. So what can Sam do to establish boundaries with her mother and what does she owe her parent?

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    Supporting your parents financially

    When you’re faced with a request (or a demand) for money from your parents, it can be challenging to know where to draw the line. It can feel like a choice between damaging your relationship or damaging your bank account.

    There’s no one-size-fits-all advice available either, as factors such as cultural expectations, whether or not the request is an emergency or one-off and how financially responsible your parents are in general will all play into your decision making.

    First, try to distance yourself from the emotional pressure. Gain an outsider’s perspective by speaking with your partner, a trusted friend, therapist and even a financial advisor, if the loan is large enough to warrant that. Their advice can help you to see the issue more objectively and make better sense of your duty in this situation.

    Also, remember that parenting is a one-way commitment. When you become a parent, you make a promise to raise your child the best way you can, with no expectation that your work will be repaid. If your parents pressure you by calling you selfish or ungrateful, or saying that you owe them, remember that this is not true.

    When you’ve managed to put some of the stress of their request and pressure aside, you can start to think about how realistic it is for you to help. Would you be able to give this money to a friend if they were in need of it? Consider not only how much money your parents are asking for, but also whether you can reasonably afford it without jeopardizing your financial commitments. You may feel that a one-time offer to help is doable, but you might also want to consider whether this will open the door to other requests for help in the future.

    Read more: Want an extra $1,300,000 when you retire? Dave Ramsey says this 7-step plan ‘works every single time’ to kill debt, get rich in America — and that ‘anyone’ can do it

    How to handle tough conversations with your parents about money

    Speaking with The Muse, Silvia Dutchevici, a psychotherapist, president and founder of the Critical Therapy Institute, said, “Emotions around parents asking for money are deeply tied to the values one has learned while growing up.” She advises adult children to ask themselves, “What emotions are hidden or unprocessed around money? Did we grow up believing it is our responsibility to help our parents? Or did we grow up believing everyone should be responsible for themselves financially?”

    When you’re ready to address issues of money with your parents, here are some talking points to consider:

    Set clear boundaries

    If you’re able to help your parents, specify what that help will be, whether it’s a one-off or a regular gift. If you decide to lend your parents money, be clear about the terms for the loan, such as a payback schedule and whether confirmation is required in writing.

    David Kindness, CPA, says to The Muse, “I’d advise against giving money if it’s becoming a regular occurrence or if your parents have a history of poor financial management.” He notes that giving money to a parent who is irresponsible with money can enable negative behavior and set up an expectation of future dependence.

    Offer other ways to help

    If you have a parent who struggles with money, providing alternative forms of help can be a more gentle way to establish a boundary. Consider offering your time by helping them draw up a budget, researching financial assistance programs and other community benefit programs that can help them rein in their spending, if that’s an issue.

    This can be a way to show you care without committing yourself to financial support that you can’t afford.

    Be prepared to say no

    As you discuss money with your parents, they may become emotional or demand more money than you can afford. It can be challenging to say no to your parents or any family member, but you must prioritize your own needs first and the needs of your children — if you have them. In other words, you must have your own oxygen mask on first before sharing it with others. Gently explain that you want to be able to move forward without resentment and any loan or gift that could not be paid back would be both emotionally and financially damaging for you.

    Finally, if you’re helping your parents with a substantial gift, remember that it must be reported on your taxes, although it’s unlikely to be taxed. As of 2025, the gift tax exemption is $19,000. If you give more than that in a year, you’ll need to report the gift to the IRS.

    What to read next

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    This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.

  • I just got the shock of my life after applying for my ‘dream’ New York apartment — apparently, my credit card company has declared me dead. How do I fix this freakish fluke?

    I just got the shock of my life after applying for my ‘dream’ New York apartment — apparently, my credit card company has declared me dead. How do I fix this freakish fluke?

    Sarah from New York was living her best life. She had secured a new, high-paying job in her industry, and just put in an application for her dream apartment. Everything was looking up until she found out the application had been denied.

    The reason? She was declared dead.

    Sarah’s credit card company had mistakenly marked her as deceased. After six weeks of lawyer’s visits, doctor’s notes and gathering other documentation to prove she was alive, she found all the stress had been due to an error made by the company in recording another person’s death — someone with the same name, but a different middle initial.

    While it may sound like a fluke, about 12,000Americans are mistakenly marked as deceased each year by the Social Security Administration alone, according to Consumer Litigation Associates. That means thousands of Americans could be walking around with “credit ghost” status, often without even knowing it.

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    How could this happen, and how common is it?

    Mistakes on credit reports are shockingly common. According to the Federal Trade Commission, one in five Americans has an error on their credit report, and around 5% of people are affected by issues with their credit score that could cause them to be denied or overcharged for a loan. Most of these mistakes are mundane, like incorrect addresses, misspelled names or outdated account info. But when the error is more extreme, like being marked deceased, the fallout can be intense.

    This can happen when a financial institution or government agency incorrectly reports a death to the major credit bureaus, usually because of a mix-up with someone of a similar name or Social Security number. Sometimes the mistake originates with the Social Security Administration, which maintains the Death Master File used by credit bureaus, insurers and other agencies.

    Once that incorrect status hits your credit file, it can set off a domino effect that touches nearly every aspect of your financial life. You might:

    • Be automatically denied for loans, credit cards or apartment applications
    • Have existing credit accounts closed or frozen
    • Lose access to Social Security benefits like disability payments or Medicare
    • Be flagged during background checks for employment or insurance
    • Face delays in accessing your bank accounts or other essential services

    These kinds of disruptions can be financially and emotionally overwhelming, and they typically require significant effort and documentation to fix.

    Read more: Want an extra $1,300,000 when you retire? Dave Ramsey says this 7-step plan ‘works every single time’ to kill debt, get rich in America — and that ‘anyone’ can do it

    How you can avoid becoming a statistic

    Because this could happen to anyone at any time, the most you can do is check your status now to avoid finding out at an inopportune moment. Here’s what you can do:

    • Get copies of your credit reports. Visit AnnualCreditReport.com to access free reports from Equifax, Experian and TransUnion. Look for phrases like “deceased,” “consumer reported as deceased,” or “credit file frozen.”
    • Identify where the error occurred. If only one bureau lists you as deceased, it may be due to a creditor reporting incorrect data. If multiple reports show the error, it may stem from the SSA.
    • Contact the source of the error. Call the creditor or agency directly. For SSA errors, visit your local SSA office with your ID, Social Security card, and birth certificate.
    • Provide proof of identity and life. You may need to submit notarized affidavits, a letter from a doctor or employer, or government documents verifying you’re alive.
    • Notify banks and lenders. Once the issue is resolved, inform your financial institutions so they can reopen or unfreeze any affected accounts.
    • Monitor your credit going forward. Consider using a credit monitoring service for a few months to catch any repeat issues early.
    • Seek legal help if needed. If you’ve lost income, housing, or experienced significant stress, a consumer protection attorney can help you recover damages.

    Being mistakenly declared dead isn’t just a clerical hiccup, it can derail your finances, housing and career in a heartbeat. The best defense is vigilance. Don’t wait for a rejection letter to discover you’re a credit ghost. Sarah urges, “Take it from me: Check your credit report regularly!”

    What to read next

    Stay in the know. Join 200,000+ readers and get the best of Moneywise sent straight to your inbox every week for free. Subscribe now.

    This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.

  • Colorado man fights back after ‘intentionally complex’ hospital billing system leaves him with $104K bill for emergency surgery — how to ensure your hospital doesn’t try to overcharge you

    Blake Pfeifer of Colorado Springs is calling on hospitals to uphold their legal requirements for transparent pricing.

    Pfeifer underwent emergency stomach surgery at the University of Colorado Health Memorial Hospital Central in 2022 and was surprised when bills for his week-long stay just kept coming.

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    “We literally had bills scattered all over the floor and it covered the entire office,” Dawn Pfeifer, Blake’s wife, shared with NBC News.

    Pfeifer was originally charged $104,000 for his hospital stay, which was reduced to $58,124 as he would be paying out of pocket. However, more bills kept arriving, and Pfeifer’s attempts to contact the hospital for clarity on the charges reportedly went nowhere.

    “I’ve always paid my bills,” Pfeifer, 63, told NBC News. “I wanted a little better explanation.”

    A systemic issue

    Unfortunately, patient advocate groups say that Pfeifer’s experience is quite common.

    “Hospitals and insurance companies alike have even hired many middle-player firms to be able to maximize their margins and profits at every single patient encounter,” Cynthia Fisher, founder of PatientRightsAdvocate.org, told NBC News. “Sometimes what we’re finding is the charges like Blake’s that are billed are far beyond even the highest rate that they have within their hospital pricing file.”

    Fisher told NBC News that hospital billing systems seem to be “intentionally complex.” NBC noted that under Colorado law, hospitals that violate the federal price transparency rule — which went into effect in 2021 — are liable to be penalized for deceptive trade practices. The law requires hospitals to clearly state pricing on their respective websites.

    However, NBC News found that a number of Pfeifer’s bills are higher than the hospital’s listed prices, including $99 for a blood culture that was listed between $8 and $61 for insured patients, and $104 apiece for a series of 10 blood tests that should cost anywhere between $6.52 and $52.89 per test, based on the hospital’s website. In fact, NBC News found that only 25% of the charges Pfeifer received were listed on the hospital’s required price list.

    “What happened to Mr. Pfeifer unfortunately repeats itself and plays out across the country thousands of times every year,” said Steve Woodrow, Pfeifer’s lawyer and a Democratic member of the Colorado House of Representatives. “We now have a situation where people are afraid to get medical care because of the financial ramifications.”

    Dan Weaver, a spokesman for UCHealth, said in a statement shared with NBC News that the health system “does everything possible to share prices and estimates with our patients, encourage insurance coverage, assist patients in applying for Medicaid and other programs that may offer coverage.”

    Read more: Want an extra $1,300,000 when you retire? Dave Ramsey says this 7-step plan ‘works every single time’ to kill debt, get rich in America — and that ‘anyone’ can do it

    Fighting a broken system

    NBC found that the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS) had penalized only 27 hospitals for non-compliance with transparent billing practices in the last four years since the law took effect. However, the Department of Health and Human Services Office of Inspector General found in 2024 that only 63 out of 100 hospitals studied were up-to-date with price transparency requirements.

    Furthermore, a study from The Commonwealth Fund found that over 45% of working-age adults in the U.S. who had insurance were charged for a health service that they thought was covered by their insurer.

    NBC also interviewed Damon Carson, a small-business owner in Colorado who was sued by a collection company after he refused to pay the additional bills that started rolling in after his outpatient endoscopy at a UCHealth hospital.

    Carson was originally quoted $1,448 for the procedure and paid upfront, out of pocket, but was later charged an additional $4,742. In mediation, his additional bills were reduced by one-third to settle the case.

    “I was surprised they caved that fast,” Carson told NBC News. “[My wife] and I could easily have paid the $4,000 and our lives gone on. But this was a principle thing.”

    “It’s driven by money”

    The American Journal of Managed Care reported on “pervasive billing errors” and “aggressive tactics” in the health care and insurance industries in 2024. Dr. Jeffrey Sippel, associate director of inpatient clinical services and associate professor of clinical medicine in the Pulmonary Sciences and Critical Care Medicine Division at the University of Colorado School of Medicine, said he’s been overwhelmed with denied insurance claims from Medicare Advantage plans.

    “It’s driven by money,” said Sippel in an article on The American Journal of Managed Care’s website. “It’s driven by a lack of appreciation of how dynamic these patients are, and how quickly they can change from sort of stable to doing quite poorly.”

    These overbilling practices are all the more troubling considering how much the federal government spends on health care in the United States.

    Data from the World Health Organization shows the U.S. government spends approximately double what other G7 nations spend on health care per citizen. In 2021, the U.S. spent $12,000 per person on health care while the average spend for other G7 countries was between $4,400 and $7,600. Canada, for example, reportedly spent $6,600 per person on health care, while the U.K. was at $6,200 per citizen.

    Challenging inaccurate hospital bills

    So, what can you do if you find yourself with additional bills piling up after a hospital stay? In Colorado, patients can sue a hospital for instigating debt collection proceedings against them if they believe the hospital violated price transparency laws.

    If you find yourself in a dispute over a hospital bill, advocate for yourself and insist on a clear explanation of your charges. In fact, Fisher has some strategic advice for anyone facing charges after a stay in the hospital.

    “No one should ever pay that first bill,” she told NBC News. “The onus of proof needs to be on the hospital and the insurance company to prove that they have not overcharged us.”

    The CMS also advises patients to shop around for their health care and compare prices and price transparency practices between hospitals to avoid higher-than-necessary bills. Finally, it’s best to keep your primary care physician involved in the process, as they may be able to help advocate for you and offer additional information on finding accessible health care.

    What to read next

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    This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.

  • Atlanta woman says her mother-in-law has been a serial cheater and lost $1M to romance scams on the internet. Here’s why The Dave Ramsey Show is calling for legal action

    Atlanta woman says her mother-in-law has been a serial cheater and lost $1M to romance scams on the internet. Here’s why The Dave Ramsey Show is calling for legal action

    A caller named Stacey from Atlanta reached out to The Ramsey Show with a disturbing situation involving her mother-in-law and romance scammers. In just one week, her husband’s mother had depleted a retirement account worth $750,000 by sending funds to these fraudsters. Additionally, the mother-in-law had taken drastic financial measures including refinancing her vehicle and maxing out credit cards to continue sending money to the scammers. Stacey explained that she and her husband were feeling overwhelmed and desperate for solutions to address this troubling situation.

    Stacey described her mother-in-law as a serial cheater. With her father-in-law in poor health and likely to pass soon, she’s wondering how the family will manage her mother-in-law’s reckless behavior, which seems to border on mental illness.

    While the elderly couple still have a healthy nest egg that could last her mother-in-law for the rest of her life, Stacey is worried she’ll blow the other $2 to $3 million that’s left, and isn’t sure how she and her husband will afford to take care of her — or how to cope with her behavior.

    Here’s what hosts Jade Warshaw and John Delony had to say about the situation.

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    The financial impact of caring for an elderly family member

    Stacey told the hosts, “My husband and I … are going to be debt-free within the next two years. We’ve worked aggressively to get to that point, and I don’t want to go into debt to take care of somebody else.”

    “And you don’t have to,” Jade Warshaw told her.

    Host John Delony was sympathetic, but realistic. “You have to understand that there’s not a lot that you, personally, can do,” he said, in reference to Stacey trying to curb her husband’s mother’s bad behavior.

    Delony advised Stacey’s husband to seek a conservatorship through the courts, emphasizing that they must prove that Stacey’s mother-in-law is a harm to herself. He also advised that the court can order psychological tests to help prove, as Stacey suspects, that her mother-in-law is mentally ill.

    When you are caring for an elderly family member, it’s not always smooth sailing. Whether it’s a fight about independence, such as moving them into assisted living when they’re no longer able to live independently, or negotiating how much time you can realistically spend with them as you navigate your own life, including career and raising your kids, there are a lot of tough conversations on the horizon. Factor in money troubles, and the stress levels can skyrocket.

    The costs of providing care for an elderly relative are also high. The AARP reports that the average caregiver spends around $7,200 per year on caregiving expenses. Other research they conducted found that caregivers spend 26% of their income on caregiving expenses, and one in three will use their personal savings to cover costs.

    However, the costs of living in long term care are significantly higher. CareScout reports that the average monthly cost of a private room in a nursing home sits at $10,646, while in-home care services typically hover between $6,000 and $7,000. It’s also difficult to have an elderly family member’s care covered by Medicaid. The AARP says that while the program does cover nursing home care for people who can no longer bathe, dress or feed themselves unassisted, generally you have to have less than $750 in monthly income and less than $2,000 in financial assets (not including your home) to qualify.

    Read more: Want an extra $1,300,000 when you retire? Dave Ramsey says this 7-step plan ‘works every single time’ to kill debt, get rich in America — and that ‘anyone’ can do it

    Dealing with the fallout of a family fight about money

    Leading conversations about money, end-of-life and planning is difficult, especially with a parent who is used to being the authority figure. The AARP recommends bringing a trusted third party into the conversation if you’re finding it tough to navigate. They recommend an advisor such as the family lawyer, doctor, faith or community leader. A counselor, or even an eldercare mediator, can also help facilitate the conversation.

    In any case, approach the conversation with both information and a loving attitude. Observe their behavior, so you have specific instances to point to, rather than generalities. Come with information on next steps, but don’t introduce it until they’re ready. You must respect your loved one’s independence, and give them time to get used to the idea of giving some of it up.

    Conservatorships and power of attorney

    While Stacey wants to pursue a conservatorship, she is worried her father-in-law will object, partly out of embarrassment.

    Deloney says that, considering his poor health, these decisions must be made by Stacey’s husband and his brother.

    “It’s as simple as telling him [the father-in-law], ‘You can sign this over to us, and it stays with us, or this is going to become a public matter.’”

    “Do we watch our mom burn her life to the ground, or do we go down swinging?”

    If you are in a similar situation where you need to seek a conservatorship for an elderly family member due to their age, mental health or physical health, you should know that laws vary by state. In general, the court will examine the person’s finances, health and their own wishes to determine whether they are incapacitated. In the case of Stacey’s mother-in-law, for example, she will also be notified ahead of time so that she can make her own wishes known to the court.

    Finally, power of attorney works differently, and entails a person freely giving their consent to another trusted person to manage their money in the event that they become incapacitated. While it may be possible in Stacey’s case for her husband to petition the court for power of attorney, he would have to prove his mother’s inability to manage for herself, and it would not legally prevent his mother from spending money she has access to. He would have to control his parents’ remaining assets, and prevent his mother from accessing more than she needs.

    Warshaw summed up the call with Stacey like this: “Unfortunately, I think this is one of those things where both solutions, either sitting to the side and watching … and the other option, which is being very proactive, are each going to have its own set of challenges.”

    What to read next

    Stay in the know. Join 200,000+ readers and get the best of Moneywise sent straight to your inbox every week for free. Subscribe now.

    This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.

  • San Francisco residents say someone has suddenly started reporting them for parking in their own driveways — and it’s costing them hundreds. How to handle tricky ticketing situations

    San Francisco residents say someone has suddenly started reporting them for parking in their own driveways — and it’s costing them hundreds. How to handle tricky ticketing situations

    A news camera in San Francisco captured the moment Larry Reed found his latest parking ticket.

    “One-hundred-and-eight dollars for parking in my driveway,” the senior noted to NBC Bay Area in a story published July 14.

    Reed and several of his Mission District neighbors are speaking out after receiving hundreds of dollars in fines for allegedly parking in a manner that obstructs the sidewalk. But the residents insist they’re parking on their property and aren’t causing any problems.

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    Meanwhile, the city’s parking authority told NBC Bay Area that officers are simply responding to complaints submitted to the 3-1-1 system.

    "The thing is, it’s never happened until this year,” Reed said. “So, it seems to be somebody who’s newly moved in.”

    Documenting the unusual details

    Some neighbors suspect there’s somebody out there gaming the system and costing them money.

    “We don’t know what the deal is. It’s just, when we park on the driveway, we get a notice,” Yolanda Francisco told NBC Bay Area. “It’s been reported to 3-1-1 multiple times, but one picture multiple times.”

    Complaints, plus accompanying photos, can be tracked online. Francisco’s son-in-law, David Chen, says he noticed a pattern after receiving a citation of his own.

    “So, I don’t know when these photos were taken, but somebody obviously has a collection of these and is just re-posting them,” he told NBC Bay Area.

    Chen was walking by when Reed found his latest parking ticket. The length of the vehicle appears to partly cover the sidewalk, but he says it’s not enough to be problematic.

    "There’s, like, 10 feet of open space,” Chen said. “It’s not causing a problem for anyone with accessibility issues. It’s literally somebody making themselves feel good by submitting it, trolling us, getting us tickets."

    Read more: Want an extra $1,300,000 when you retire? Dave Ramsey says this 7-step plan ‘works every single time’ to kill debt, get rich in America — and that ‘anyone’ can do it

    Turning off the flood of tickets

    Reed has attempted to appeal to the neighborhood parking complainer by posting letters on lightposts in the area, asking the person to simply call him instead if and when his car is bothering them so that he can move it. While this hadn’t yet yielded results, there are some other steps that Reed and his neighbors can take to avoid parking these parking fines.

    The San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency allows citizens to protest parking violation citations within 21 days of the date the ticket was issued, either by mail or online. They ask that if you plan to protest your citation, you should refrain from paying your ticket. As part of the submission, Reed and his neighbors can upload their own photos of their parking, and any other evidence that supports their claim. The parking citation is then placed on hold and reviewed within 90 days.

    If this first protest is denied, they have the option to request an administrative hearing within 25 days of the decision.

    There are also programs in place to help the city’s low-income residents pay for citations via payment plans or reduced fees.

    If parking in your neighborhood is similarly tight, you can avoid tickets by staying on top of the local parking bylaws, so that if anything changes, you’re aware. Also, take into account the road allowance and ensure your vehicle isn’t blocking the sidewalk, even partially. If you live in a neighborhood where driveways are short, you may even consider measuring how much space you have before you buy a new car.

    Finally, getting to know your neighbors may be a safeguard against any complaints. If you’re on friendly terms, a neighbor may feel more comfortable reaching out to you directly if they have an issue, rather than going through official channels.

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    This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.

  • ‘An American nightmare’: Massachusetts landlord started driving Uber just to pay his bills during 2-year battle with ‘professional tenants’ — how to spot renters trying to ‘play the system’

    After losing nearly $100,000, Leo Behaj is sharing his experience with a pair of troublesome renters he says “have a PhD” in scamming landlords.

    Behaj and his wife bought a second home in Reading, Massachusetts a few years ago with the intention of moving in when their children got to high school, allowing the kids to attend a school in the district. In 2021, they found a couple who were keen to rent the property in the meantime — a couple that reportedly also wanted to keep their children in the desirable district.

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    Almost immediately, these tenants began to complain about needed repairs and stopped paying rent. As Behaj and his wife would come to learn, the couple has reportedly been repeating this pattern with helpless landlords for 20 years, having been at the center of 12 eviction cases in the state.

    "They’re professionals," Behaj shared with NBC10 Boston. "These people have a PhD. They have everything for how to screw the system."

    Meet Bryan Coombes and Nicole Inserra

    Behaj and his wife came to the U.S. from Albania in 2010, and since they were new to the country, renting this property was their first experience as landlords.

    "I said to my friends, ‘From an American dream, it can become an American nightmare.’"

    Bryan Coombes and Nicole Inserra, the couple accused of being "professional tenants,” battled Behaj in court for two years. Behaj says Coombes represented himself during the proceedings and seemed to know exactly what to do in order to delay the couple’s eviction.

    NBC10 Boston also reports that $13,000 in rental assistance, which is covered by taxpayer dollars, was given to Coombes and Inserra during their stay at Behaj’s property. Meanwhile, during the two-year battle with his tenants, Behaj was forced to take a second job as an Uber driver to pay the mortgage on both of his properties.

    After losing $95,000 in legal fees and unpaid rent, Behaj sold the house in order to work his way out of debt.

    NBC10 Boston also found that while Coombes and Inserra were Behaj’s tenants, they filed for bankruptcy five times. Federal court records show the couple has a combined nine bankruptcy cases between the two of them.

    Speaking outside the court, Coombes told NBC10 Boston that he is not a professional tenant.

    "That’s not true. I use the law, and the law helps me do what I need to do," Coombes said. "I don’t avoid paying rent. I use the law to my advantage when people don’t fix things that are supposed to fix things."

    Read more: Want an extra $1,300,000 when you retire? Dave Ramsey says this 7-step plan ‘works every single time’ to kill debt, get rich in America — and that ‘anyone’ can do it

    The first of many victims

    NBC10 Boston’s investigative team managed to track down the first family that Coombes and Inserra had issues with 20 years ago.

    Peter Amato’s parents bought a duplex in Woburn that Amato and his wife, Teri, lived in until 2004. Amato’s parents then rented the property out to Coombes and Inserra and, according to court records, the couple almost immediately stopped paying rent.

    Amato said issues dragged on for months. Complaints to the city’s health department over things like lightbulbs, asbestos and lead paint allowed Coombes and Inserra to stay on the property without paying rent. After months of mounting costs, Amato’s parents finally gave up.

    "It was either pay them and stop bleeding out money, or fight them and bleed out money and put yourself in financial chaos," said Amato. "It was cheaper to give them $20,000 and tell them to get lost."

    The latest case

    Coombes and Inserra are now battling a new landlord over the same type of alleged issues they claimed were wrong with Behaj’s property. NBC10 Boston spoke with Bob Lee, an attorney who is currently working on a case for a landlord who rented a home in Burlington to Coombes and Inserra.

    "Their whole entire goal is just to stay on the property as long as possible, paying the least amount of money possible," Lee said. "It doesn’t take a lot of effort to play the system that way."

    The owner of the Burlington home filed an affidavit in May, saying he and his wife plan to move back into the house once he takes possession because he can’t afford to pay two mortgages and risk foreclosure.

    Meanwhile, the homeowner has amassed nearly $100,000 in losses including rent, legal fees and repairs. The homeowner also claims in the court filing that he was forced to borrow money from friends and family.

    "Without the court’s immediate intervention to allow me to take rightful possession of my property, this is an unsustainable, unreasonable and unjustifiable situation for any landlord," the homeowner said in his affidavit. "There is no scenario where the tenants can make me whole."

    Professional tenants explained

    Also known as professional renters, tenants who use loopholes to avoid paying rent are not uncommon. In fact, 58.5% of respondents to a National Multifamily Housing Council survey in 2024 said they’ve experienced an “increase in nonpayment of rent due to fraud in the past 12 months.”

    A professional tenant’s goal is quite simple: wrap up the landlord with complaints and legal proceedings to avoid paying rent and delay eviction for as long as possible. Coombes and Inserra have reportedly been running this playbook for decades, using bankruptcy as another tactic to prolong court proceedings and delay eviction.

    Due to failure to file the required documentation, all of the bankruptcy cases filed by Coombes and Inserra were dismissed, but the two likely knew their cases would fail.

    "It’s pretty obvious that they never intended any of these cases to be successful," said Josh Burnett, a bankruptcy attorney who reviewed the court filings with NBC10 Boston. "They were just trying to buy time."

    How to spot professional tenants

    Thankfully, there are a number of legitimate ways that landlords can screen potential tenants to ensure they’re trustworthy.

    In addition to the usual credit check, a landlord can also run a criminal background check on any potential tenants. Landlords may also ask for an employer letter or even pay stubs to prove the tenants have sufficient income to afford rent each month. It’s also worth asking for references from more than one previous landlord if the prospective tenants have a history of frequent moves.

    Getting a sense of a prospective tenant’s rental history is key. Behaj told NBC10 Boston that while he spoke to a reference for Coombes, he now believes the person he spoke with was only impersonating a landlord.

    If you’re a first-time landlord, asking plenty of questions can help you understand more about your prospective tenants and provide clarity on any gaps in their rental history, allowing you to make a sound judgement about their character. Trust your gut, and don’t be afraid to keep looking if you don’t think a potential tenant is the right fit for you.

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  • Got $2 million? Here’s how long that nest egg will last you, depending on which US state you live in — you’ll get almost 50 more years in the cheapest state compared to the most expensive

    Got $2 million? Here’s how long that nest egg will last you, depending on which US state you live in — you’ll get almost 50 more years in the cheapest state compared to the most expensive

    A record number of people are reaching retirement age. Each day, more than 11,200 Americans turn 65 — adding up to 4.1 million Americans hitting retirement age per year.

    And yet very few of them feel they have enough saved to last the rest of their lives. The Federal Reserve reports that the reality is that most Americans aged 65 to 75 have approximately $426,000 in their 401(k).

    According to a Northwestern Mutual survey, most Americans believe they’d need closer to $1.46 million for a comfortable retirement.

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    Experts disagree. Suze Orman, for example, called $2 million in retirement savings “chump change”.

    So $2 million is a high bar. But according to a recent analysis from GOBankingRates, it should be enough to last you in all but three states: Hawaii, Massachusetts, and California.

    Here are some states where a $2-million nest egg will make you feel like a millionaire in retirement — and states you may want to avoid if you have a more modest retirement nest egg.

    The rankings

    GOBankingRates ranked all the states based on how long $2 million would last in retirement. They looked at average Social Security payouts and the average annual expenditure for Americans 65 and older (based on the 2023 Bureau of Labor Statistics Consumer Expenditure Survey).

    Then they compared that data to each state’s overall cost of living to determine how many years retirees could make $2 million last.

    The state where it would last the longest?

    Read more: Want an extra $1,300,000 when you retire? Dave Ramsey says this 7-step plan ‘works every single time’ to kill debt, get rich in America — and that ‘anyone’ can do it

    Virginia, where a $2-million nest egg would last a whopping 71.93 years. Average annual expenses in that state would be $27,803 a year, after accounting for Social Security income.

    Unfortunately, living in West Virginia post-retirement has some downsides. The state has some of the worst health-care outcomes in the U.S.. Other retiree-friendly states on the list include Kansas, Mississippi and Oklahoma, with $2 million projected to last up to 69 years.

    In contrast, $2 million would not last even half as much in California, Massachusetts and Hawaii, which ranked at the bottom of the list for long-term affordability. The $2-million nest egg would last about 31 years in California and Massachusetts and Hawaii 22.75 years.

    In other words, if you retire at 65 in the Aloha state, your money would likely last until you’re 88, but no longer.

    That may not seem so bad, but this analysis didn’t take into account high health-care costs, so your $2 million nest egg may shrink more quickly than the data suggests.

    Deciding where to live in retirement

    Choosing when, where and how to retire is an individual decision based on multiple variables. Here are some factors to consider as you contemplate areas to live in retirement.

    • Local cost of living, This varies across the country, as GOBankingRates’ analysis shows.
    • Housing supply and prices. This is a major consideration if you’re planning to move states or downsize to a smaller home after you retire. Hawaii, like many states, is facing a housing supply crisis, while Massachusetts and California also report low levels of housing supply, driving up the cost of living in these states.
    • Public services. For example, you will likely need health facilities and use public transportation more as you age.
    • Convenience and amenities. Are there supermarkets, pharmacies and gas stations within an easy distance? Community centres? Restaurants and theatres? As you age, proximity matters, and you’ll be less likely to want to cope with an inconvenience in your living arrangements.

    Whether or not you have $2 million, it pays to be realistic about your fixed income and make wise decisions about where to retire. That way you can ensure that your golden years are comfortable ones.

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  • My fiance’s ultra-rich parents expect me to quit my job once we get married — but then freaked out when I asked them to set me up with a trust just in case. Was I out of line?

    When a young couple takes that big step into marriage, managing finances and expectations can be a little tricky.

    Take Karlie and Tim, for example. These 27-years-olds recently got engaged and have started having discussions about what their married life should look like. Karlie, who earns more than $170,000 per year, makes a lot more money than Tim, who earns a modest teacher’s salary. They split all of their bills, but Tim supplements his income with a trust fund that’s in the low seven figures.

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    Recently, Tim’s parents insisted that Karlie quit her job after the two are married to focus on being a stay-at-home mom, but Karlie doesn’t want to give up her career.

    Instead, she decided to offer a compromise, suggesting that Tim’s family — who are very wealthy — set up an irrevocable trust for Karlie, contributing her gross earnings yearly for 35 years with anticipated raises and promotions. This would protect her in case of divorce and ensure her a healthy retirement.

    But Tim’s family was incensed with my suggestion. Meanwhile, Tim doesn’t want to sign a prenuptial agreement that would transfer half of his assets to Karlie if the marriage doesn’t work out.

    So, what should Karlie do to protect her financial future? To figure that out, let’s get into the numbers.

    The state of marriage in the U.S.

    As of 2024, America’s divorce rate sits between 40% and 50% for first marriages. With this in mind, Karlie is wisely choosing to protect herself and her future finances in the event that her marriage with Tim comes to an end.

    Without a prenuptial agreement, Karlie may be blocked from claiming a percentage of Tim’s trust fund in the event of a divorce. Even in community property states — which considers a married couple as joint owners of nearly all assets acquired in marriage — Tim’s trust fund was set up before he married Karlie, therefore it belongs solely to him.

    The most Karlie could hope to claim would be a percentage of Tim’s teacher salary for the years they were married, as well as half of any assets they might acquire during that time.

    Furthermore, men tend to fare much better financially than women after divorce. According to PubMed Central, women in America experience an estimated 27% decline in their standard of living following a divorce, while men experience a 10% increase under the same circumstances.

    “Numerous studies have shown that the economic costs of divorce fall more heavily on women,” writes Thomas Leopold in an article for PubMed Central. “After separation, women experience a sharper decline in household income and a greater poverty risk.”

    With her $170,000 salary, Karlie is currently in the top 10% wage bracket. Sacrificing her career and the hard work that got her there would be unwise without any alternatives to protect her financial future.

    Read more: Want an extra $1,300,000 when you retire? Dave Ramsey says this 7-step plan ‘works every single time’ to kill debt, get rich in America — and that ‘anyone’ can do it

    Why Karlie needs to protect herself

    Without a trust fund of her own or a prenuptial agreement, Karlie is exposing herself to a great deal of financial risk. For stay-at-home mothers, opting out of their career in the short or long term can mean not just a financial loss, but also a loss of identity that many find hard to cope with.

    Financially, a stay-at-home parent can save the family between $10,000 and $18,000 on childcare costs each year. However, if Karlie gives up her career, the family will likely have to dip even more into Tim’s trust fund to pay the bills, which may cause some arguments or resentment.

    Karlie and Tim would then have to decide how to budget and spend Tim’s money. They’d also have to figure out how Karlie can have some financial freedom within the marriage without her own earnings to spend.

    How Karlie and Tim can approach tough money conversations

    Before Karlie and Tim come together to discuss financial plans for their married life, it would be helpful for both of them to get clear on their personal financial values. This could include asking themselves questions like “where do I want to be in 30 years?”, “how do I picture myself living in retirement?” and “what do I prioritize when it comes to money?”

    As they come together to discuss their financial future, finding some common ground in shared financial values will be important. Though differing values can coexist in a marriage, finding a balance could be key to moving their relationship forward.

    Once they are able to establish a shared vision and some shared goals for their future, it may also be helpful to get an outside perspective with a financial advisor or a couples therapist. This bias-free advice could help Karlie and Tim make realistic choices that will benefit them both equally.

    The outcome of these conversations will help Karlie decide if this marriage, and the lifestyle it may entail, will be right for her. Whether your relationship includes a seven-figure trust fund or taking on your spouse’s significant student debt, it’s important to have hard conversations about money before you sign the marriage licence to ensure you have a shared plan for your financial future.

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